I don’t understand myself at all. I’m finally becoming myself again but in a way I’ve changed. I used to act so happy go lucky, have songs stuck in my head, dance all of the time and everyone would look at me thinking “This girl is way too happy.” I realized I’m back to the songs being stuck in my head and the dancing but I think in a way I’ve put up walls. Now when I go to talk to someone about something that I know they won’t be interested in or if I know how the conversation is going to go, I just stop. Before, I would just keep going even though I know they’re going to just nod and pretend they’re listening. I act happy again and in a way I am. I’m better than I was when I was upset about the situation I was in. Also, a bad thing kind of happened in the middle of it all. I really want to meet new people or just talk to random people but I stop myself. I think, they are just going to be bored with me. I have nothing exciting to talk about so what’s the point in messaging them? It sucks that I’m now like this because there are so many people I want to talk to. Even when I do start talking to people now, I just give up. I feel like I’m annoying, and boring so it’s pointless. Sometimes I hope they will stop so they can go on peacefully in the world without me dragging them down. But that’s a horrible way to think. I think this way yet I am happier and want to meet/talk to people. I’m a little hard to figure out.